Here are five fine ways to stop using killer toilet paper and help save the forests, save the animals, and stop the climate change monster heatwaves, floods and storms that are killing our biosphere.

Have fun cleaning your poopy bottom with these:

1] Various waste papers – called NooPoo Paper.

NooPoo Paper can come from printed office paper that is no longer needed, unwanted books, used packing paper, newspapers, grocery store flyers and other unwanted paper.

Adding water to the NooPoo paper makes for a super cleaner bottom. With the optional water, NooPoo paper is more comfy and cushy than commercial toilet paper. Prices range from $Free to $Zero. [more below]

2] Repurposed clothing fabric – called Poo Cloths.

Poo Cloths are squares of fabric cut from unwanted t-shirts, washcloths and microfiber clothes.

Adding water to the Poo Cloths makes for a clean bottom too. Reuse by washing them. Poo Cloths are comfortable and cushy too. Prices range from $Free to $Zero. [more below]

3] A homemade water squirter – called a Bottle Bidet.

A Bottle Bidet can be made easily from a squishy plastic water or juice bottle by making a small hole on the side near the lid so it can squirt water from the side near the top.

Here are two ways to make the hole in a bottle so you can make your own Bottle Bidet. Heat up the end of a small nail or bent fork tine on a stove top while holding it with a pair of pliers. Once the metal is hot, melt a 1/16 to 1/8 inch hole in the bottle. A small drill or an awl will work too. [more below]

There are commercial versions of bottle bidets too. Prices range from $3 to $40. [more below]

4] A sprayer on a hose attached to water line – called a Hose Bidet.

This handheld sprayer has a hose attached to the toilet’s water line. The Hose Bidet may be the best bidet method of all. This handheld sprayer head can be hung up on the side of the toilet when not in use. It can be easy to install. Prices range from $10 to $60. [more below]

5] A bidet unit attached under the toilet seat – called a Seat Bidet.

These bidets that attach under the toilet seat are quite nice. Prices range from $25 to $200. [more below]

 

Compassionate Pooping with NooPoo Paper

I and several housemates have not used commercial toilet paper while at our house since 2009.

I celebrate knowing that some future kids and critters will be smiling a bit more because we repurpose used paper as toilet paper.

My used NooPoo paper usually goes into the bathroom waste basket, and then it will go into the compost or into the regular trash.

I don’t smell any odor from the NooPoo paper that is in the bathroom trash basket. This is probably because the small amount of poopoo on the NooPoo paper dries quickly.

Sometimes I flush the NooPoo paper down the toilet. I tear the used paper into small 2 to 3 inch wide by 3 to 6 inch long strips to use it. The toilet where I live has not clogged up or backed up once. The plastic sewer plumbing is probably 15 years old.

Yes, I am taking the chance of a toilet-plumbing-plug-up for a chance to save trees, climate, people and critters.

But beware, paper strips may plug up your toilet or sewer line plumbing if it is easily clogged. Small paper strips and short-fiber recycled papers are less likely to clog up the plumbing. Newspapers printed on recycled paper are short fibered.

I have a clean and nice smelling home. But even if there were a slight or even modest odor from the wastebasket for a short time, I would still accept that little smell so I can help save the precious living forests that are home to some beautiful critters, and that help slow down the climate change monsters.

Compared to the NooPoo paper that we put in the trash, there are bio-wastes that are allowed in trash cans that are hundreds of times more contaminated – such as diapers, pet waste, rotting meat and some medical waste.

I don’t worry about the small amount of ink that I come in contact with when using printed paper for NooPoo paper. After all, I know that I breathe in far more printer ink from advertising papers and newspapers than I might absorb by using used a little paper for toilet paper.

For those concerned about the ink, you can use the unprinted side of used printer paper and other unprinted papers that are headed for recycling.

A little ink from used paper products that might come in contact with one’s privates is probably quite safe. Losing a lot of trees and forests to make toilet paper is definitely not safe.

A lot of toilet paper and other paper products contain paper that comes from illegally logged trees. 3% to 90% of the paper in paper products may come from illegally logged trees. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illegal_logging

Of these two options, I think the first saves more energy and saves more trees. What do you think?
1] Using used office paper, used advertising paper and other used papers as toilet paper instead of using commercial toilet paper.
2] Recycling used office paper, used advertising paper and other used papers that will often be shipped out of state or out of our country. That used paper must then sorted, shredded, washed and treated. That paper pulp will then be turned into new toilet paper rolls. Those toilet rolls will then be wrapped in plastic, boxed, wrapped in plastic on a pallet. Those toilet rolls will then be shipped to a distributor and then to a store to be sold.

If you agree that the first option is best, join us in saving the forests by using used office, used advertising and other used paper when you head to bathroom. NooPoo paper will get you cleaner and is more fun than commercial tp.

So again, NooPoo poopy paper can go into a trash basket beside the toilet. Then, that poopy paper can go into the compost or the regular trash. Compared to poopy diapers, dog poo and cat poo that are allowed in municipal trash collection systems, no problem.

We can have a super dooper life without using that poopy scoopy commercial TP that destroys the lungs of the planet and hurts the forest homes of some sweet humans and non-human beings. Let’s show our love for those beautiful places with this simple ecological action when we poo.

Do save forests. Do save money. Do NooPoo today.

 

Smart Pooping with Poo Cloths

Repurposed clothing fabric can be turned into Poo Cloths. The fabric may include squares of fabric cut from unwanted t-shirts, washcloths and microfiber blankets.

Add some water to the Poo Cloths to make for an even cleaner bottom if you want to. Wash them by hand, in te washing machine or with water collected in a bucket when you take a shower. Poo Cloths are so comfy and cushy. Make them for free to free the forests. [more below]

Pooping Kindly with a Bottle Bidet

A homemade Bottle Bidet is easy to make and fun to squirt.

Your personal Bottle Bidet can be made from a squishy plastic water or juice bottle by making a small hole on the side near the lid so it can squirt water from the side near the top.

Here are some ways to make the hole in a bottle so you can make your own Bottle Bidet:

1] Heat up the end of a small nail or bent fork tine on a stove top while holding it with a pair of pliers. Once the metal is hot, melt a 1/16 inch [1.6 mm] to 1/8 inch [3.2 mm] hole in the bottle on the side near the lid.

2] A drill and a small drill bit may work better. Make the hole as described above.

3] A sharp long tapering awl may work the best of all. Make the hole as described above.

Make some Bottle Bidets for your friends to save the forests and your friends’ lives.

I think a bidet bottle with a single direct stream works better than a sprayer with multiple streams because the pressure is focused in one stream instead of dispersed over several streams. Plus, multiple streams make it more likely that water will get on the toilet seat.

There are some commercial bottle bidets available too. Most of them have multiple streams though. Prices range from $2 to $80.

Search for bottle bidet, portable bidet and just bidet to see what’s out there. There are some good bottle and bidet reviews on youtube too.

Empathy Pooping with a Spray Hose Bidet

The handheld stainless steel sprayers that have a hose attached to the toilet’s water line are probably the best bidet method of all. The handheld sprayer head can be hung up on the side of the toilet when not in use. They are easy to install. Prices range from $10 to $50.

Gentle Pooping with a Toilet Seat Bidet

The nice bidets that attach under the toilet seat are quite nice too. Prices range from $25 to $200.

 

NooPoo Paper song

NooPoo paper, NooPoo paper
newspaper and phonebooks, yes mam, yes sir
you can do when you are ready to poo

NooPoo paper is the thing
to help save the human race
to help save the world race
we are all gonna be a bird one day
just wait for your body to decay
then you’ll go to the rivers
then you’ll fly in the sky
and somewhere you will become, if you lucky oh my my
you’ll be a pelican, deer or a bear you’ll see
if you love them and love yourself
NooPoo paper for you and me

NooPoo paper, NooPoo paper, ooo
NooPoo paper, NooPoo paper
you can do the doo dee doo

love your future animals, love so let’s all give back
to love the future animal in you
stop using toilet paper, stop cutting down the trees
NooPoo paper, ooo, planetpaper,
save those people, whales, tigers, butterflies and chickadees
NooPoo paper
toilet paper is crap, NooPoo paper is heaven
that is that

just put a little water on it,
and you will be cleaner than you could ever be
than when you use toilet paper you see
NooPoo paper, use it today
the forests can’t wait any longer
the beetles, marmots, wild cats and kids
are saying ok, you can save our lives
yeah NooPoo paper /stele 12

Any songwriters want to help perfect this song and write other NooPoo Paper and Bottle Bidet songs?

by catsplay astrycula /flickr

 

Toe Ee Lot Pay Purr song

no doodoo-paper for me where I live for years
old office paper and telephone books work great
our back behinds like it, do not fear
and the forests we save celebrate

no more Toe Ee Lot Pay Purr
we need those trees to make our air
the cats need the trees to purr

we’ve got class do not fear
by using used paper and old books
when you go to the bathroom… cleaner and more fun than TP.
adding water to the paper makes it soft and for super clean bottoms

it’s not to save money
it’s to save those forest gems and tiger and
for the forests that make our air, for the critters in the jungle

I won’t use Toe Ee Lot Pay Purr

so the critters play and tigers can purr

and I can get a fresher butt

I put NooPoo paper in a basket
then take it to the compost or trash
lots of crappier things can go in there
so nothing wrong with that

it dries fast and does not smell
feels soooo good to poo this way

compared to the poopy diapers going into trash cans
for a little NooPoo paper there is no comparison

pee squared or doo squared
we all hear the call every day
but when it’s time for these
for the forests and the lakes

when it’s time for 1 or 2
choose the way of love
use phone books, old books
a reusable cloth or used printer paper

for the future critters and children

I hear nature’s call each day
from deep inside of me
those voices saying it is time
to the throne to poo or pee

speaking for the trout, chipmunk and marmots
speaking for the trees, bees and daisies

voices from the forests and the lakes and sky blue
saying now is the time to choose

pee pee and poo poo

when it’s clean up time to show I care
when it’s time to squat for these

choose the way of love
used office paper, advert paper, old books
a reusable cloth or phone books
for the critters and children

toy lat pae purr
ask your hand to play fair
toee laut pae purr

by stopkleenex via flickr

 

TP Resources

+ Keep Tigers Out Of Your Toilet via www.care2.com
Excerpt:
Imagine that a small army of bulldozers and other types of heavy equipment came into your neighborhood early one morning and began destroying everything in sight on the street where you live: three-story homes; garages; manicured lawns; pretty flowers; backyard pools; even tree houses and the trees they sit in, with absolutely no regard for the lives connected to them.

If you are a tiger living on the Indonesian island of Sumatra, this is your reality. Those with an ear to the ground regarding animals in peril around the globe have presumably heard about the link between manufacturers of toilet paper and tissue and the destruction of tiger habitat in Sumatra.

As consumers, we are free to support brands that harm animals and the environment or reject them. Let’s work on increasing everyone’s awareness of this problem and on making deforestation and illegal trade things of the past. Animals are precious creatures that we all are meant to coexist with peacefully. If we don’t start now, when will we?

+ What’s Greenest and Cleanest When Nature Calls?

+ en.wikipedia.org/ wiki/Toilet_paper #Environmental_considerations

by stopkleenex via flickr

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