NooPoo Paper and Bottle Bidet : Used Office Paper, Newspaper & A Water Squirter Vs Toilet Paper



Here are four fine ways to stop using killer toilet paper and help save the forests, help save the forest animals, and help stop the climate change monsters that are killing our biosphere.

Have fun cleaning your poopy bottom with these:

1] Various waste papers – called NooPoo Paper.

NooPoo Paper may include printed office paper that is no longer needed, unwanted books, used packing paper, newspapers, grocery store flyers, phone books and other used flat thin papers.

Adding water to the NooPoo paper makes for a super clean bottom. With water, NooPoo paper can be as comfortable and cushy as commercial toilet paper. Prices range from $Free to $Zero.[more below]

2] A homemade water squirter – called a Bottle Bidet.

A Bottle Bidet can be made easily from a squishy plastic water or juice bottle by making a small hole on the side near the lid so it can squirt water from the side near the top.

Here are two ways to make the hole in a bottle so you can make your own Bottle Bidet. Heat up the end of a small nail or bent fork tine on a stove top while holding it with a pair of pliers. Once the metal is hot, melt a 1/16 to 1/8 inch hole in the bottle. A small drill or an awl will work too. [more below]

There are commercial versions of these bottle bidets too. Prices range from $3 to $40. [more below]

3] A sprayer on a hose attached to water line – called a Hose Bidet.

This handheld sprayer has a hose attached to the toilet’s water line. The Hose Bidet may be the best bidet method of all. This handheld sprayer head can be hung up on the side of the toilet when not in use. It was easy to install. Prices range from $10 to $60. [more below]

4] A bidet unit attached under the toilet seat – called a Seat Bidet.

These bidets that attach under the toilet seat are quite nice. Prices range from $25 to $200. [more below]


Compassionate Pooping with NooPoo Paper

I have had numerous housemates that have not used commercial toilet paper while at our house since 2009. Not all have stopped using the killer rolls though. Poopy scoopy.

I celebrate knowing that some future kids and critters will be smiling a bit more because of our pooping methods.

My used NooPoo paper goes into the waste basket, and then the compost or regular trash.

We don’t notice any additional odor in the bathroom or from the trashcan. The relatively small amount of poopoo dries fairly quickly on our *ultra eco toilet paper*.

We have a clean and sweet smelling home. But even if there were a slight to modest odor from the wastebasket – and there is NOT – I would accept a little short-term smell to help save those precious living forests that are home for so many critters. Plus the forests help slow down the climate change monsters too.

Compared to our NooPoo paper that we put in the trash or compost, there are so many other way dirtier things that are put in trash cans, such as dog doodoo, diapers, pet waste and dead animals.

For those concerned about the ink, I suggest using the unprinted side of used printer paper and other unprinted papers that are headed for recycling.

I don’t worry about the very small amount of ink that I might come in contact with when using printed paper for NooPoo paper. After all, we all breathe the printer ink from all the paper we are around in our lives. And for those of us that touch our mouth while handling paper, or lick our finger while reading, we are consuming that ink.

A little ink on the privates is not dangerous. Losing forests is.

By the way, a bunch of paper products contain paper that comes from illegally logged trees. It can vary from 3% to 90%.

So which do you think saves more energy?
1] Using used office, newspaper and advertising paper as toilet paper.
2] Recycling that office paper, newspaper and advertising paper that will then be shipped out of state or country to sorted, washed, cleaned, turned into toilet paper rolls, wrapped in plastic, boxed, wrapped in plastic on a pallet, shipped, transferred, then shipped back to a store where I can buy it and use it as toilet paper.

So join us in saving the forests by using old office paper, junk mail, newspaper, phone books and other used paper when you head to bathroom. And get cleaner and have more fun than commercial tp.

To save the forests, a big yes. To save money, another yes.

For guests that we forget to coach at our home, it’s pretty obvious what is expected and they figure it out in a few seconds. Amazing? I don’t think so. I think most peeps know what we should be doing to help our forests. This is one of those ways.

Reusing used paper as “Toe Ee Lot Pay Purr” is just sooo satisfying. Get a fresher butt, and save our sweet forests and critter friends.

NooPoo poopy paper can go into a trash basket beside the toilet. Then, that poopy paper can go into the compost or the regular trash. Compared to poopy diapers, dog poo and cat poo going into trash cans, no problem.

It feels soooo good to be pooing this way.

We can have a wonderful and magical life without using that killer TP that destroys the lungs of the planet and the homes of some sweet human and non-human beings. Let’s show we love those beautiful places with this simple ecological action when we do number two.

For all the life that lives to love, Stele


Pooping Kindly with a Bottle Bidet

A homemade Bottle Bidet is easy to make and fun to squirt.

Your personal Bottle Bidet can be made from a squishy plastic water or juice bottle by making a small hole on the side near the lid so it can squirt water from the side near the top.

Here are some ways to make the hole in a bottle so you can make your own Bottle Bidet:

1] Heat up the end of a small nail or bent fork tine on a stove top while holding it with a pair of pliers. Once the metal is hot, melt a 1/16 inch [1.6 mm] to 1/8 inch [3.2 mm] hole in the bottle on the side near the lid.

2] A drill and a small drill bit may work better. Make the hole as described above.

3] A sharp long tapering awl may work the best of all. Make the hole as described above.

Make some Bottle Bidets for your friends to save the forests and your friends’ lives.

I think a bidet bottle with a single direct stream works better than a sprayer with multiple streams because the pressure is focused in one stream instead of dispersed over several streams. Plus, multiple streams make it more likely that water will get on the toilet seat.

There are some commercial bottle bidets available too. Most of them have multiple streams though. Prices range from $2 to $80.

Search for bottle bidet, portable bidet and just bidet to see what’s out there. There are some good bottle and bidet reviews on youtube too.

Empathy Pooping with a Spray Hose Bidet

The handheld stainless steel sprayers that have a hose attached to the toilet’s water line are probably the best bidet method of all. The handheld sprayer head can be hung up on the side of the toilet when not in use. They are easy to install. Prices range from $10 to $50.

Gentle Pooping with a Toilet Seat Bidet

The nice bidets that attach under the toilet seat are quite nice too. Prices range from $25 to $200.


NooPoo Paper song

NooPoo paper, NooPoo paper
newspaper and phonebooks, yes mam, yes sir
you can when you’re are on the can

NooPoo paper is the thing
it’s gonna help save the human race
it’s gonna help save the world race
we are all gonna be a wolf ourselves one day
if just wait around the body will decay
it will go into the rivers
it will go into the sky
and somewhere you will become, if you lucky oh my my
you’ll be a Siberian tiger or a bear you’ll see
if you love them and love yourself
NooPoo paper for you and me

NooPoo paper, NooPoo paper, ooo
NooPoo paper, NooPoo paper
you can do the doo dee doo

we all love the animals, so let’s all give back
we all love the animals
so stop u sing toilet paper, stop using toilet paper
use NooPoo paper, ooo use planetpaper,
save those animals the tigers, bears and the wolves
NooPoo paper
toilet paper is crap, NooPoo paper is heaven
that is that

just put a little water on it,
and you will be cleaner than you could ever be
than when you use toilet paper you see
NooPoo paper use it today
can’t wait any longer
the Siberian cats and wolves
are saying ok, it’s saving our lives
yeah NooPoo paper /stele 12

Any songwriters want to help perfect this song and write other NooPoo Paper and Bottle Bidet songs?

by catsplay astrycula /flickr


Toe Ee Lot Pay Purr song

no doodoo-paper for me where I live for years
old office paper and telephone books work great
our back behinds like it, do not fear
and the forests we save celebrate

no more Toe Ee Lot Pay Purr
we need those trees to make our air
the cats need the trees to purr

we’ve got class do not fear
by using phone directories, newspaper and old books
when you go to the bathroom… cleaner and more fun than TP.
adding water to the paper makes it soft and for super clean bottoms

it’s not to save money
it’s to save those forest gems and tiger and
for the forests that make our air, for the critters in the jungle

I won’t use Toe Ee Lot Pay Purr

so the critters play and tigers can purr

an I can get a fresher butt

so put used poopy paper in a basket
then take it to the compost or trash
lot’s of diapers go in there
so what’s wrong with that

it dries fast and does not smell
feels soooo good to poo this way

compared to the poopy diapers going into trash cans
for a little NooPoo paper there is no comparison

pee squared or doo squared
we all hear the call every day
but when its time for these
for the forests and the lakes

when its time for 1 or 2
choose the way of love
use phone books, old books
a reusable cloth or used printer paper

for the future critters and children

I hear nature’s call each day
from deep inside of me
those voices saying it is time
to the throne to poo or pee

speaking for the trout, chipmunk and marmots
speaking for the trees, bees and daisys

voices from the forests and the lakes and sky blue
saying now is the time to choose

pee pee and poo poo

when it’s clean up time to show I care
when its time to squat for these

choose the way of love
use newspapers, old books
a reusable clothe or phone books
for the critters and children

toy lat pae purr
ask your hand to play fair
toee laut pae purr

by stopkleenex via flickr


TP Resources

+ Keep Tigers Out Of Your Toilet via
Imagine that a small army of bulldozers and other types of heavy equipment came into your neighborhood early one morning and began destroying everything in sight on the street where you live: three-story homes; garages; manicured lawns; pretty flowers; backyard pools; even tree houses and the trees they sit in, with absolutely no regard for the lives connected to them.

If you are a tiger living on the Indonesian island of Sumatra, this is your reality. Those with an ear to the ground regarding animals in peril around the globe have presumably heard about the link between manufacturers of toilet paper and tissue and the destruction of tiger habitat in Sumatra.

As consumers, we are free to support brands that harm animals and the environment or reject them. Let’s work on increasing everyone’s awareness of this problem and on making deforestation and illegal trade things of the past. Animals are precious creatures that we all are meant to coexist with peacefully. If we don’t start now, when will we?

+ Soft Is Rough on Forests science/earth/26charmin.html

+ wiki/Toilet_paper #Environmental_considerations

by stopkleenex via flickr by stopkleenex via flickr

Musicians:: Record this NooPoo song and we will add it here and promote it.
Artists:: Do a video, art, dance or multimedia for this song and we will add it here and promote it.
Fans:: Share and sponsor this song.
Donate to support a better version and recording of this song. $44 or more gets you a partial copyright of this song and certificate.



13 responses to “NooPoo Paper and Bottle Bidet : Used Office Paper, Newspaper & A Water Squirter Vs Toilet Paper”

  1. Stele Avatar

    I do have my own compost pile to compost my noopoo reused office-paper toilet paper. Wondering, which do you think saves more energy::
    1] Using my used office, newspaper and advertising paper as toilet paper.
    2] Shipping that office, newspaper and advertising paper out of state or country to sorted, washed, cleaned, turned into toilet paper rolls, wrapped in plastic, boxed, wrapped in plastic on a pallet, shipped, transferred, then shipped back to a store where I can buy it and use it as toilet paper. Hmmmster? Maybe I should start using my out-of-date climate change and sustainability books that cannot be put in the recycling. Paper sheets and giggles, Stele
    ps: Dead animals such as rats, mice, squirrels and raccoons can be discarded in the trash – weird.

  2. Stele Avatar

    Hi there Melissa, I think that the dog, cat and diaper doodoo that are currently thrown in the trash would still be adding 100’s of times more e coli bacteria to a landfill than the amount that would come from everyone using reused office paper and old newspaper as TP. Losing any of the forests just for TP and their big cardboard shipping boxes when there is so much paper discarded just “Bums” me out. I can’t be part of that at my home. I wonder how many landfills are not sealed and are illegally leaking into groundwater. TP FREE for the TREES, Stele

  3. SteleEly Avatar

    The Salidaga
    July 24, 2016 ~ Hannah Marker Peace Corps Volunteer

    The picture above is a salidaga. This is the Bambara word for it, I can’t remember the Pular one, and in English I would just call it a plastic kettle. But it has a very specific use, so I believe I very specific name is needed. Thus I continue to use salidaga.

    The salidaga is used to by Guineans, Malians and I assume other West Africans when they go to the bathroom. They’re kept constantly filled with water, and carried with to and from the latrine. They’re also used to provide water for washing hands, brushing teeth, doing the ablutions before praying and occasionally, mostly by children, drinking.

    Now I assume you can imagine how the water is used for all those activities except going to the bathroom. In the latrine, the water from the salidaga is used to clean oneself, in place of toilet paper. Most people here actually think toilet paper is a very dirty way to clean yourself. I’ve seen people laugh when they see me taking to the latrine with me. As such, I usually just rip some off the roll and tuck it in my shirt so they don’t know what I’m doing, and take the salidaga with me, which I then don’t use.

    The West African method of cleaning yourself involve holding the salidaga with your RIGHT hand and using your LEFT hand to clean yourself. For ladies, if you pee, you pour some water in your left hand and splash upwards as many times as you see fit. If you’re pooping, you hold the salidaga in your right hand and kind of pour the water down your butt-crack, simultaneously wiping with your left hand until clean.

    How can I explain this so well? I have in fact done both. Not unless I have to however. Toilet paper is available for sale and I do buy it whenever I am in the regional capital. While the local methods leave you clean, it also leaves you wet and I just don’t like that. But I have run out of toilet paper before, and thus been forced to use the salidaga.

    This method of cleaning yourself is why there is such a stigma around the left hand being dirty in West African culture. You don’t ever eat with your left hands and you don’t give or accept things from others with your left hand. The eating thing I can handle because I’m right handed so it feels weird anyway to eat with my left hands, and this rule mostly just applies to when you’re eating with your hands out of a shared bowl. Not when you’re eating with utensils or off your own plate. Though I think West Africans still generally avoid it. I have had a hard time getting used to not giving or accepting things with my left hands, especially at the market when my hands are full of bags and I’m taking transactions.

    And you may be wondering, are there left handed West Africans? Of course. I’m sure there are a lot who may have been trained out of using it by their parents, but I have also seen West Africans write with their left hand. They’re probably just much more ambidextrous than most Americans.

    There is one time that West Africans will shake with their left hands. This is when someone is leaving for a long time. Possibly you may never see them again. Since shaking with the left hand is “wrong”, the idea behind shaking with the left hand in this instance is that the person leaving had to come back to rectify the “mistake”. It’s a nice tradition I think.

    So there you have it. The salidaga. A nice piece of West African culture that I thought you all would appreciate hearing about. So next time you go to the bathroom, appreciate that toilet paper. Because what you buy here sure isn’t Cottonelle and because I didn’t buy enough this time to make it through to my next trip to the regional capital… hannahmarker214 et gmail period com

  4. SteleEly Avatar

    via FreeLee the Banana Girl:: Why I stopped using Toilet paper + live demo:: I stopped using toilet paper ages ago and got a bumgun instead! You can also use a drink bottle to pour down there and get squeaky clean, cleaner than you ever have with toilet paper.

  5. SteleEly Avatar
    The average bidet goes through about one-eighth gallon of water per use, while a staggering 37 gallons of water go into the production of a single roll of TP (that works out to 3.7 gallons’ worth of TP used per person per day, not counting the actual flushing water, according to the people who track such things).

  6. SteleEly Avatar

    Help more Orangutan babies have a forest = Use way less TP, paper cups, paper towels, paper products.

  7. SteleEly Avatar

    TP FREE for another year YIPPEE

  8. SteleEly Avatar

    Via Lloyd Alter (@lloydalter) at In his 1966 book The Bathroom, Alexander Kira goes on at great length at how useless toilet paper is at actually cleaning our rear ends. He quotes a British study that found that 44% of men had stained underwear, and concludes that “we are primarily concerned with the appearance of cleanliness… What we cannot see or directly experience or what others cannot readily see, we ignore.” He recommended the use of a bidet, but regretted that in North America, it was almost unknown or identified with sexual immorality. That was almost 40 years ago.

  9. SteleEly Avatar

    Let’s ban toilet paper :: you’ve heard that we’re now using more trees for toilet paper than for newsprint. (Not least because the newspaper industry is even more in the toilet than toilet paper.) But did you know that because of Americans’ demand for super-soft TP for our bungholes, 98 percent of the pulp used to make the stuff comes from virgin wood? __“Future generations are going to look at the way we make toilet paper as one of the greatest excesses of our age. Making toilet paper from virgin wood is a lot worse than driving Hummers in terms of global warming pollution,” Allen Hershkowitz, a senior scientist at the Natural Resources Defence Council, told the Guardian.

  10. SteleEly Avatar

    We have used phone books and junk mail for toilet paper for over 5 years now – so only #1 and #2 goes down our potty. We like using this "noopoo" paper because it helps save the forests by not using more tree sourced paper. Once used, our “phonebook poo paper” goes into the waste basket, and then the regular trash can. "Noopoo" gets your behind cleaner and is more fun than eco crappy TP. Adding water to the paper makes for non-toxic, super clean bottom. I celebrate knowing that some critters and future kids will be smiling a bit more because our pooping methodology. I hope all the lovers of the planet out there will use this ultra eco "noopoo" toilet paper too. Sing along with our noopoo paper tune.

  11. SteleEly Avatar

    I soooo hope more folks will at least give the reusable poo cloth, or phonebook or office paper as toilet paper a chance. For all the life that loves to live, give the gift to kids and critters of the future by not using toilet paper. Lot's of folks travel or camp while dealing with toilet experiences that are less than optimal – sometimes without toilet paper. And many come back home and say what a wonderful time they had and want to go again… asap. Why do the standards have to change for some people when they get back home? And many of us have dealt with those diapers from our sweet kids that were far poopier… no problem. It feels good to do the loving thing.

  12. SteleEly Avatar

    Use Reusable Toilet Paper : For me, this one was an eco-conscious no-brainer … once I’d wrapped my brain around the concept, that is. I mean, of course! Cloth can be washed and used again and again. It’s less resource-intensive, it keeps tons and tons of waste out of landfills and waterways, and, bottom line, the “reusable” model is always a more sustainable choice than the “disposable” alternative.

    Just think about toilet paper: Made from trees. Chemically-treated for “sanitation,” and bleached for “beauty.” Stark white antiseptic. Wrapped in plastic. Mass-produced in factories. Shipped across continents. Endlessly.

    Then think about family cloth. Homemade. Cut from an old cotton sheet, a flannel shirt, a terry cloth towel. All up-cycled. And so soft. Washable. Reusable. Again and again and again.

  13. SteleEly Avatar

    FRESH PAPER could be another rad name for the eco toilet paper that is simply newspaper and phonebooks.

    Albeit: Berries turning to moldy mush, dying an ignoble death in the blink of an eye; beautiful greens transforming into brown slimy leaves; mushroom sprouting new forms of fuzzy life within their gills — these are the tragedies that befall too many a kitchen. In fact, 25 percent of the world's food supply is lost to spoilage.

    The Massachussets-based company, Fenugreen, aims to address this waste with its simple innovation, FreshPaper. Fenugreen was founded by two friends, Kavita M Shukla, inventor of FreshPaper, and Swaroop Samant, a medical doctor. Kavita developed and patented FreshPaper while in high school, after she stumbled upon its spices and botanicals in a medicinal hot drink given to her by her grandmother in India to prevent a reaction to contaminated tap water.

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